As a vegetarian, I don’t eat seafood, though I do really like lobster.  Scientists are apparently still out on whether they feel pain at all, and how to cook/kill them with as little pain as possible.  Since lobsters are fairly unique, as one of the few animals that we usually bring into our homes and kill ourselves, the question is relevant.  We all know that animals die (and usually suffer) getting to our plates, but it’s different when we can see it.  One interviewee in the article describes the problem not as avoiding pain for the lobster, but avoiding discomfort for the cook.  And that’s probably true.

Yet, lobsters don’t perceive the world the way we do.  I remember a holiday party years ago where one of my relatives was doing “stupid lobster tricks,” making them stand on their heads and balance on their tails before going into the pot.  I was pretty embarassed on their behalf – the lobsters themselves were probably just confused.

Seafood has always been a morally grey area in my vegetarianism.  I avoid it for consistency, and for political reasons (the sustainability of our seafood supply has been seriously threatened in recent years, and many restaurants are serving sustainable alternatives to traditional favorites that are rapidly disappearing).  But is it wrong to kill seafood, the way it can be considered wrong to kill a chicken or a cow?  We don’t know if lobsters feel pain, and they’re pretty lively as these creatures go.  What about shrimp?  Scallops?  I find it hard believe that scallops feel much of anything.  But then, I’m the sort of person who catches bugs and releases them outside instead of squashing them.

In the end, it comes down to our relationship with our food.  If you eat seafood, how do you feel about cooking lobsters?  And if you’re vegetarian, is it wrong (politics aside) to eat an animal that can’t feel pain?

Taste buds: Mmmm, meat.
Brain: Meat?!?
Taste buds: Tastes like meat… but, oh no! Not supposed to eat meat!  What have we done?
Brain: It’s ok, they people in the store said it isn’t really meat.
Taste buds: Ok, then. It sure is tasty.  Mmm, meat. Are you sure they didn’t lie?

And so forth.

Vegetarian food is its own unique style of cooking, and one that I happen to like.  I don’t think a meal is necessarily missing anything if it lacks a central course of animal flesh (I know some people feel differently, and that’s part of why I’m vegetarian and they aren’t).  At this point in my life, after almost three years as a strict vegetarian and two more as a mostly-vegetarian, I rarely have meat cravings like I used to.  It also helps to be aware that I’d probably be physically ill if I ate a real ham sandwich, since it’s been so long since my body has digested animal protein.

(A side note: let me be clear that I have no problem with other people eating meat around me.  I have great respect for anyone who educates themselves about the social and environmental consequences of meat-eating, and thinks about how much meat to include in their diet.  And I’m understanding of those who don’t care to know where their food comes from.  I’ll respect your dietary choices if you respect mine.)

Why mock meat?  Why eat stuff that my hero Michael Pollan would lump with McDonald’s Hamburgers and Twinkies under the “not food” category?  Because, like many vegetarians, I know that meat tastes good.  I was an omnivore for 21 years — I haven’t forgotten what it tastes like!  Because sometimes, even when I’m satisfied with veggie fare, I miss the flavor of ham or chicken.  And most of all, because it makes me feel normal.  At a barbecue, I can eat a soy dog just like other people are eating hot dogs — it’s not “that vegetarian food,” but something that looks and feels like what everyone else has.  At a normal restaurant, there are often only one or two vegetarian options, a half dozen at most (caprese, anyone?); imagine going to Java Green and choosing from a whole menu of sandwiches that anyone can eat!  It’s immensely satisfying.

So, no, I wouldn’t make a habit of mock meat, but when I’m in the mood, I’ll eat my veggie ham sandwich with great pleasure.